Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
