i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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