Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
