I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
