I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We need to get me chipped asap
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
