we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
