I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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