Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
