I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
