Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
