Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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