Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
