Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
