I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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