What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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