call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
