wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
