He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
