Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
