i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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