I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
