Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
