I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
