i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
