He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
