is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
