Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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