mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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