I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
