I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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