There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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