do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
