Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
