this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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