Already got asked if we're dating
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
