so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
