Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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