there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
