The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
