I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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