You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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