Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
