bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
