your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
two words...techno handjob
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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