you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
