cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The uberlube is also flammable
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Randomize
