I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
