Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
