Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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