How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
