i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you would pick up someone in the library
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
